How long can you survive Melbourne's roads?

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What's on the road

  • DODGEPotholes and craters. Every hit costs energy. In the rain they fill up and get harder to spot.
  • DODGEThe machete bin. Somebody's left it in the middle of the road. It wins every argument with your tyres.
  • DODGEThe lollipop lady. Roadworks, cones and a tradie with a STOP sign. She means it.
  • DODGEStolen car chases. They come from behind. Watch for the flashing arrows.
  • GRABIllegal tobacco. Spot the neon shopfront and grab the carton for +20 energy.

Pothole FM headlines

  • HURRY HOME TO WATCH SKY NEWS AFTER DARK - BEFORE THE NIGHTLY CRIME SPREES BEGIN
  • LOCAL MAN FILLS POTHOLE HIMSELF. COUNCIL FINES HIM FOR UNAUTHORISED ROADWORKS.
  • WEST GATE BRIDGE TRAFFIC: YES.
  • TOBACCONIST CLOSES AFTER RAID. TWO MORE OPEN NEXT DOOR BY LUNCH.
  • METRO APOLOGISES FOR DELAYS CAUSED BY ITS APOLOGY FOR DELAYS

ALL HEADLINES

POTHOLE FM: POTHOLE FM TRAFFIC: COUNCIL SAYS THE SYDNEY RD POTHOLE HAS BEEN "ON THE LIST" SINCE 2019  //  TRAM REPLACEMENT BUSES HAVE NOW BEEN REPLACED BY REPLACEMENT BUS REPLACEMENT BUSES  //  PUNT RD ROADWORKS NOW ENTERING THEIR THIRD DECADE  //  NEW RECORD: SIX TOBACCONISTS OPEN ON ONE BLOCK THIS WEEK  //  POLICE CHASE REPORTED ON THE EASTERN. AGAIN.  //  HURRY HOME TO WATCH SKY NEWS AFTER DARK - BEFORE THE NIGHTLY CRIME SPREES BEGIN  //  WEST GATE BRIDGE TRAFFIC: YES.  //  METRO APOLOGISES FOR DELAYS CAUSED BY ITS APOLOGY FOR DELAYS  //  MYKI READER SAYS TOUCH AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN.  //  GRAND PRIX ORGANISERS SCOUT YOUR STREET AS A NEW RALLY STAGE  //  RECORD WEEK: MACHETE BIN EMPTIED. POTHOLES STILL FULL.